A Darkened Love
by antlermagick
Summary: Severus is the Potions Master at Hogwarts, and his world seems to be growing darker by the minute...that is until a new teacher joins the staff. Is it true that one person can survive alone? What changes can happen to a person in a few short months? SSOC
1. Severus's Thoughts

A Darkened Love

Chapter 1

Why am I here? What does this world have to offer me? Sure, I am rather skilled at several things, but isn't there so much more to life then that? Is this all I have to look forward to? Is this all I can expect from here? Why? I thought that this world was such a great place with countless opportunities. Was that just some worn-out childhood myth as well?

It seems as if I see the world with a visor across my eyes, where everything is dark and not worth any importance. But, then again at times I feel as if I am the only one not wearing anything to shield my vision...that I am the only one seeing things clearly as they truly are.

Am I tortured by my past? Or do I just simply torture myself? I have been alone for so long that my thoughts fail to make sense. They swirl together leaving me nothing but confused and a pathetic waste of a human body. It is a wonder how I seem to carry on each day.

I was suddenly awoken from my pointless train of thought by a rather deafening explosion from across the room.

Without gazing up from my desk I merely said, "Mr. Longbottom, do you think, for the sake of my sanity, that you could _just once_ not destroy one of my better cauldrons in a single class period?" My voice sounded across the silent room sinisterly.

Before anything else could be said or done, the signal for the finish of the class came. The children formed a line piling the samples of their potions onto my desk, and each one of them instinctively avoiding my eye.

As the last of them made their way out of the classroom, I began to carefully store the numerous vials into my cabinet for later when I felt like grading them.

Thank Merlin I didn't have any more classes for the rest of day.

With a quick cleaning charm, I left the dungeons and I walked up to the Entrance Hall. I made my way up to the staircases, and to the second corridor on the left side. I ended my trek at the far end of the corridor at a giant portrait of a man teaching a youth to read.

"Good day to you, Sir," he greeted me tipping his hat.

"_Semper disco_," I said in return.

He nodded, his cheerful smile never fading, and swung open the portrait to show the concealed entrance behind. I walked through and down the dark spacious corridor, and passing grand doors on my left and right, I finally reached the one on the end.

A gold plaque with fanciful writing that read _Severus Snape Potions Master_ was hung on the door, and the knob was large and golden as well with great exquisite detailing.

Entering my sleeping quarters, I found myself in usual company. It was not much really; it was almost like a small hotel room, but it was enough for it was my own.

The door to the washroom was immediately as you stepped in, and there was a short hallway before you reached rectangular area. Here a small desk set in the corner by a window that always had it's curtains drawn, and on the adjacent wall set my great four poster bed.

I didn't care much for decorating anything, for I thought the dark gray stone walls were enough of an accent, but I had to have my bed the way I enjoyed it: with my over-sized black blankets, pillows, and luxurious comforter.

I crawled into my bed and wrapped my arms around the first pillow I could find. Laying my head upon it, my thoughts began to wander once more, picking up where I had left off back in the classroom. And, before I knew it my eyes were watering.

I wept, and for how long I did not know. All I know is that the same question kept resounding in my head over and over again, and with each time a searing pain cutting deeper into me. _Why? Why? Why?_

It's times like these that make me think I torture only myself.


	2. The Meeting

Chapter 2

I had wept myself to sleep. Me, nearly a forty-year-old man, and I wept myself into slumber like a seven-year-old boy. I had let my emotions grab a hold of me once more, but then again I haven't had a respectable amount of sleep in days. Possibly my insomnia is the reason for my even more darkening mood these past few days.

At nights, I find myself back within the inner circle of Lord Voldemort and listening to instructions we must carry out, or it would mean our deaths. At nights, I find myself suspended in mid air and being ridiculed by my peers and even the ones I love. At nights, I find myself being beaten and bruised by my own father only to see him do the same to my mother. At nights, I am trapped within my own horrific memories of the past.

Usually, I am able to repress them to clear my mind for rest, but these past few weeks they have been uncontrollable.

Rolling off the bed, I stumbled into the bathroom to see if appearance had worsened at all. Needless to say, it had. The short nap I had did nothing but darken the circles under my eyes.

I ran my hand down the back of my head in attempt to smooth down my hair. Perhaps a shower would be good tonight, at least to calm me to try and get some sleep.

Splashing some cold water on my face, I turned to leave for the Great Hall because surely it was close to dinnertime.

Walking back up the teacher's wing corridor lit by torches, I finally reached the portrait, and pushed it open.

I took only two steps when the closing portrait recognized me and spoke, "Sir, my apologies, but I have yet to inform you that the Headmaster wishes to have a staff meeting after dinner tonight in his office."

"Oh," I muttered. "And, what time is it now?"

The painting fumbled with his pocket watch and then looked back up at me, "Oh! Merlin, dinner was over fifteen minutes ago! You better hurry!"

"Splendid," I groaned. "Next time you plan on not informing me of something of importance, I'll have the Headmaster exchange you for a more intelligent painting."

"Well—!" I heard him huff as I started down the corridor at a quickened pace.

It would take me at least ten minutes to get up to Dumbledore's office. I climbed the ever-changing staircases, skipping steps as I went to cut down time. Finally, I reached his corridor, and caught sight of the stone gyphon at the end.

Why the entrances had to be at the end of the corridors baffled me, but nonetheless there was nothing I could do about it now I thought as I practically ran past the portraits.

"Acid pops!" I shouted as I approached it.

The gyphon leapt aside, and I raced up the stairs to the Headmaster's door. Without a second thought I burst though it to face many curious stares from the several teachers employed here at Hogwarts.

"Oh, Severus! How nice of you to join us." Albus twinkling smile welcomed me if I was a student.

Recomposing myself, I let the door close behind me with a dramatic _clunk_.

"Our portrait regretted to inform me of the meeting, Headmaster. I am sure we will be expunging it shortly." I spoke sourly, though it was clear I was still short of breath.

"Oh, no there will be no need for that, Severus," Albus smirked again. "We all make mistakes at times. Please, come and sit. I was just telling everyone the good news." He waved his hand inviting me to join them.

I walked up the small stairs further into his office, and around the fluffy chairs he had clearly conjured for us to sit in. Placing my back to one of his numerous bookcases, I drew up my robes around me and leaned there listening as the meeting continued.

"Now, as I was saying, I am sure all of you are aware of Professor Sinistra notifying me last week that she would be leaving our wonderful staff for personal reasons," The Headmaster carried on reclining back in his chair.

Some teachers nodded in agreement, and he continued, "And, that is why I have called this meeting...to tell you all officially we have found a replacement."

Severus couldn't believe he had ran across the school for this...to be introduced to a old bat he wouldn't even see in day light hours.

"Here, stand up Miss Vega—" Albus insisted motioning his hand in front of him where she sat. "Everyone, this is Ebony Vega, our new Astronomy Professor.

I was staring out the window at the far side of the room; the sky was wholly black in all its glory at this time. I had slept though the sunset, I noticed. When was the last time I gazed out the window to the sky? When was the last time that I even went outside?

Why do we always look to the sky? In my youth, I always looked to it for answers in hopes it promised me a greater life some day. If only I would have known what I do now. The promises were merely empty hollow ones.

"...And, finally, this is our fashionably late Potions Master: Severus Snape."

Albus' voice brought me back from my thoughts gone past the window, and my eyes flickered back to him...then to our new professor.

**A/N**: One of my best friends from preschool, David, was helping my write in homeroom today (11 Oct '04), and he _insisted_ that I use '_insisted_' to describe Dumbledore. Then, he _insisted_ that I make a note of it....


	3. The Unpleasant Volunteer

Chapter 3

Here is when I saw her for the first time, and it was apparent that she was no 'old bat' as I had referred to her before. She was young. Her skin was light. Her hair and eyes were darker than the night sky I had just been gazing out at through the window moments before.

A smile flickered across her face.

Becoming aware of my eyes lingering on her longer then I needed to, I suddenly scowled wrapping my robes tighter around myself, and averted my attention back to the Headmaster.

"Now," he began, understanding my signal to continue, "I am sure that all of you need to get back to your offices for some after hour grading."

I half expected all of them to groan as if Albus was assigning us homework, but most of them grimly nodded in assent.

"Well, I need Ebony here to be shown to her sleeping quarters before her first class in a few hours—"

Everyone swung his or her heads around to see you would volunteer, but no one did.

"Oh come now, not all of you have a towering pile of work awaiting you—"

"You'd be surprised!" Flitwick piped up from the other side of the room.

"Well, then I guess we better give our students a day off soon," he chuckled. "Although, I would ask our dear Madam Hooch or Pince, but they don't seem to have joined us this evening—"

"Rolanda has come down with a bit of a head cold, Albus, and Irma said she would be rearranging the reference section tonight…again." Minerva said knowingly.

"Ah, I see."

My eyes had found their way out the window once more. My mind seemed to be wandering more than often these past few days…thinking of anything that it stumbled across. It had to be my lack of sleep. There was no reason for me to lose focus so easily and as frequently as I was.

I could barely even hear Albus speaking, "Well, I am sure that someone is willing to take you Miss Vega, if only they would thoughtfully make a gesture…"

And what happened next occurred in such quick succession that, now when I look back on it, I can only remember my heels unfortunately and conveniently slipping out from under me at that precise moment. And taken by surprise, I cursed flinging my arms back to try to catch myself on the shelves behind me.

"Severus, how kind of you!" Albus suddenly said with and air of unmistakable delight in his voice.

I heard a voice snicker in laughter beside me, and I glanced to find Sybil Trelawney covering her mouth and adjusting her oversized glasses. I stared at her in disbelief with the deepest coldness I could muster. She always found paths to deceive me when we met in the few times we did during the school year. I knew she had something against me ever since I arrived to teach here years ago, but this was absurd.

"Your bags and trunk should be in your room when you arrive there," Albus' voice shook me from my flare of hatred. I turned to face him wanting to shout that I did not intend to lend my services to his new employee.

"You are all dismissed," he said standing up, before I could contradict my supposed offer.

The teachers immediately began to file out of the office as I watched the Headmaster bid the new Astronomy teacher good night from behind his desk. Pushing passed the others I tried to reach him before he disappeared into his own quarters.

"Headmaster!" My voice hissed as I approached. His back was vanishing into his side door.

"Good night to you too, Severus," he waved turning around to close the door with a _click_.

"Should we go now?" An unruffled voice beside me asked.

Sneering, I looked down into her black eyes. I could help but thing she was rather short, perhaps only coming up to the tip of my shoulder. Taking out my wand, I whirled around to march to the exit. As I approached, I flung the door open with magic, and stormed out.


	4. Formalities

Chapter 4

I have better things to do than to take an evening trek to the seventh floor Astronomy Tower! Like what--weep like a child in your bed? You're pathetic.

"Are you really taking me to my classroom," her cool voice was only a few stairs behind me. "Or are you just going back to your quarters? Because, you know, I'll just follow you there and—"

"Of course I am taking you to your tower!" My skin tingled with rage. "Why do you think we have climbed two flights already?"

Her tone shot back vehemently, "How was I suppose to know? I have never been here before! Merlin! Would you slow down?"

I abruptly stopped two stairs shy of the fifth floor. Trying hard not to show I was breathing deeply, I apathetically asked, "Never been here before?"

"I was home schooled," she smirked as she reached my side. "Thank you for stopping."

"I wanted to anyway," I groaned taking the last two steps.

I would have loved to walk in silence. But sadly, I found out quickly with this wench that was an unachievable dream.

"So how long have you been working here, Severus?" Her voice was annoyingly polite.

"Long enough to become a bellhop for incoming staff," I looked at her oddly for using my first name.

"Ah, sarcasm," she chuckled. "Your humor is amusing."

"Humor?" I found myself asking quietly.

"Er—is that it?"

We suddenly were facing an elaborately carved door at the top of the tower.

"Yes, everything you need will be in there," I said dully preparing myself to turn and leave.

"Wait! Aren't you going to show me where everything is?" She sounded worried.

I pointed to the nearest arched window, "The sky is out there."

She grinned, but still looked concerned. "Please, my first class is in a few hours," she implored. "I don't want to look like I don't know what I am doing."

I would have walked angrily to the tower door if I wasn't so tired from the stair climb. "You go in first," I opened the door.

"It's particularly dark in there," she walked hesitantly towards me.

"It's a narrow winding staircase that ends at a trapdoor on the ceiling." I said knowingly.

She took out her wand from the folds of her robe and illuminated the tip. "Alright, let's go."

"You weren't kidding when you said narrow, Severus" she exclaimed. "You think someone would have thought to put some lights in here."

I was stepping two stairs behind her. "Logic eludes some peop—aaaaaaallll!" Suddenly I felt a weight crash down on me, and I grabbed for the railing.

She shrieked, "Merlin! I am sorry! I can't see a damn thing! I missed a stair!"

Shocked, I didn't respond, but pushed her back upright with the strength I had left. I felt my face grow hot. What in Merlin's name did she thinks she was doing!

We winded up silently for a couple of more seconds until I finally spoke, "Watch out for the—"

"Ow!" Cruses filled the tight space, followed by a blinding amber light as she blasted the trapdoor open. She then began to pull herself up into the opening.

I poked my head up through the door after she disappeared into the room. It was much like I remembered from my youth.

I could see through the dim light the new teacher gazing around apparently amazed at the vastness of her new domain.

"Anything else?" I knew I sounded bored.

She crouched down beside me smiling, "This is marvelous, Severus! Every tool I will ever need!"

" It's Snape."

"Ah, I don't care for formalities," she waved off my comment gazing around the room again.

I decided to get straight to the point, "Can I go now?"

"Well is the sky still out the window?" She questioned back. I knew she was waiting for me to grin, but I only nodded sarcastically too tired for anything else.

"Okay then, I guess you can go," she patted me of the shoulder. "Thanks for taking me up here. I see now why no one else wanted to.

On my journey back down the castle, I became aware that I could not grimace at the thought of the new teacher. It was because either I found her oddly amusingly dimwitted, or I was too weary to find facial emotions.


End file.
